‘One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.’ -French Proverb
I will begin with the cliché question. Are we the mere puppets with hands and legs tied with a cord and a big, hefty hand is playing with us? (And we stumble and fall when the hand wants to itch? ) Is destiny the culprit who is solely responsible for him being ‘the Bill Gates’ and you being a software engineer in his company? Is there something called “free will”? Or is it just to sell hopes? We can’t stop asking questions and life won’t stop being mysterious.
What I gathered through reading many Western spiritual practitioners is that before we incarnate, we as souls, have a free will to choose our parents and region where we want to take birth. We choose them keeping in mind the lessons we would gain taking birth in that family. No matter how inappropriate it may sound to some of us, but it is true that we chose our parents. If you think you had a bad experience with them, understand that it too served as a lesson for you and hence shaped your beliefs of who you are today. We usually have one primary lesson and several secondary lessons in a lifetime- trust, self-love, kindness, moderation to name a few.We had seen the rough draft of the life we are living now before we incarnate. The lessons are pre-decided. The experiences are not. The experiences are based on the decisions we would make. Although all the roads would lead us to the lessons we are meant to take but it doesn’t direct the ways how we would take them.Major stumbling blocks in life looks like destiny steering our life in a new direction, to teach us major lessons, to transform our beliefs. That’s when we say, what happens, happens for the larger good! Happened to you too? Unknowingly we alter other’s lives too. When we incarnate, there are several souls who have an agreement to meet and help each other in their lessons. It is through our decisions that we meet them or not (usually we do) and keep on joining the dots. It is a matrix! A butterfly effect; a set of dominos! Albeit neither colorful nor cheese-like smooth. Yeah, it has a weird sense of humor too!Who says we do not have free will? We have a free will of choosing to binge on chocolate excess cake or salad; choosing Absolut or Johnny Walker; skydiving or swimming; trouser or denim; life or life! And what we ordered will determine how it will taste. Let’s order a martini; wait, did you order destiny too?In fact, what I could understand is that the destiny was the free will we chose on the soul level, before incarnating in this human life. And of course, it is not set in stone. Karma we do, decisions we take and willpower we possess all determines it. Every life is cleansing our soul and that’s what the purpose is.When ‘The Secret’ says you create your future, I feel we certainly do. We have the free will to choose experiences we want to feel. We chose this life for a reason; reason will eventually be realized along with the experiences we chose to create.
Free will is attained by a strong will. This is a cryptic clue to the puzzle called ‘fate’. Most souls will live the way it has been pre set for them because they’re too afraid to explore any other way. They sense risk and give up settling for the ‘norm’. Then there are people who are ready to jump over all the hurdles in this race. Those are the ones that tell you that you make your own future.We have to fight for free will. We can’t just get it! We have to earn it! Yes, the old Bournville! When we feel destiny is being greasy and slipping through our fingers, we need an extra large blotting tissue and we might be able to hold it again.
We might write our own destiny some day; when we are ready to stick to ‘our plan’ come what may. And I fell in love with the movie ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ when Matt Damon says: “ I don’t care what you put in my way, I’m not giving up!” (And before you think I am being some hopeless romantic here, let me make it clear, the girl is a metaphor in the film, it applies to anything you really want and go places to get it!)I have a long way to get a deeper understanding of life, destiny, free will. All I can say now is, it looks much better to believe that we create it by our strong will power. Some things are better left to the fate when we are unsure of what we want. I have my own little experiences on it. I am sure you too had some. And for ‘the things’ we are sure of, I feel we can make the universe conspire for us the moment we are ready to stand against all odds.
May the determination be with us, always!
“Some things are destined to be — it just takes us a couple of tries to get there.” ― J.R. Ward